I'm back.....nearly!!

So after a whirlwind Christmas break of house repairs, excessive food and living out of a suitcase I am now home and as of tomorrow back to reality. As I will be back in our humble (dry) residence I shall of course be doing an epic blog tomorrow with all of the antics of the last week and then normal daily blog duty will resume!
Xxxx

Until February…Day Forty two,three&four: Flooding, tears and Christmas Holidays

Fit one please can you come home now….I am missing you far too much and I need a cuddle on the sofa with a cuppa and Big Bang Theory (new season clearly)

The delay on my posting was due to the catastrophe (I appreciate that’s a bit of a strong word but let me have it as I’m still in self pity mode) when the shitty shower decided to turn my house into the village swimming pool…! One very wet bedroom, water coming through the living room ceiling and said ceiling looking on the low side…! What followed was a panic phone call to my Mamma Bear (no answer) Pappa Peace (no answer) Sister (no answer) THIS IS NOT GOOD! Finally my sister who is yes 7 years younger called back and told me to turn the water off….. good thinking! Darn I wish I was wise and beautiful like her! Couldn’t turn the tap thing off as it had clearly been tightened by some form of Iron man!

All that was left to do was sit in the dark with one bar of battery left on my phone and wait for my parents because I would have to have been swimming lengths in the living room before I would pay for an out of hours festive season plumber!

I wished you were with me at that point more than anything in the world including knowing where my wellies were. Finally Pappa Peace called back a wee bit tipsy – they had been out but luckily Mamma Bear was designated driver and they were on their way over! When they arrived it was incredible….Mamma Bear took control of the troops and gave us clear orders as she entered the “danger zone”, she then went straight to the tap and with the strength of a war horse she turned it and stopped the water (in my head I was playing a dramatic theme tune to emphasise this glorious moment) Then we followed our commander upstairs where we started to work on Project: Damage limitation. It’s times like this where I just wanted to bow down to the awesomeness of Mums! Basically she had the presence of M off James Bond, all cool and collected but with a Bob the builder’s tool kit and Pappa Peace is more James May than Bond.

 

Friday was the last day of work, I was exhausted after minimal sleep! Finally finished and was treated to dinner at my lovely friend’s house (R&B – Fleetwood Mac lovers) and coooooor was it a treat! I consumed Gin and Wine before we ate a thing (good for me bad for them) then came a feast of champions! Even had homemade crackers – this women puts me to shame, here I was acting the big Domestic Goddess after my successful completion of a cake but as if that competes with homemade Christmas crackers… who was I kidding…I’m a fraud! This is my idea of being a domestic goddess:

My Pops very kindly offered to pick me up…. This is something that hasn’t happened to me in at least 10 years and I have to admit I started feeling nervous as I realised how drunk I was… Called Pops to delay collection as pudding hadn’t been consumed and attempted to sound as sober as possible which got the following reply on the phone “Darling if you’re trying to sound sober it’s as good now as when you were 16!” Darn it that man was good!

Today I awoke with a slight headache…nothing to drastic. Breakfast and a cuppa cleared it right up. A shower would have been nice but nope that wasn’t going to happen at home so off to my parents for a wash….high flyer! I was greeted by my Grandma, Grandpa and Auntie Joan who have come to stay for Christmas, and its fair to say they were chomping at the bit to get involved with the Bathroom on project: Stop it looking like a pile of crap and fit a shower! Soooo today we have mainly been seeing how many people you can fit in the bathroom and fixing it up. I tell you one thing Fit one, I come from a family of super cool strong women and today was soooooo inspiring and overwhelming! They worked non stop and we achieved so much in one day…. It shows what can be done with the help of family and determination. I just wished you were here to meet them.

 

When I eventually sat down on the sofa with a glass of wine it felt so good! Only thing better would have been having you with me to help me get all of the bits of wall out of my hair from the bathroom.

The past few days I have mostly missed…having you here to wipe my tears, you holding buckets with me to stop catch the water and laughing about all of this together.

Until tomorrow, thinking of you all the time xx

 

 

Until February…Days forty&forty one!!! Broken shower, grumpy pops and desk envy

Fit one today I miss you sooooo much, I passed a guy in his Army uniform today in Tesco’s and tears started to well and then I remembered what an ugly cryer I am and that this would not be a good place for snotty tears.

I have been a bar humbug all day and due to being sad I have been forced by my emotions to eat copious amounts of chocolate…

Got up this morning and stumbled into the bathroom as per usual, turned the shower on in a bit of daze and jumped in. Something had definitely happened to the shower…. For starters there was no power and it was more like being pissed on by a puppy which is never a good start to the day. It was a bit cold to but by that point I was late so decided to carry on….bad moved as I was then scolded by the puppy piss of a shower as the thermo whatever has broken!!! I then tried to turn it off…. Nope that didn’t work either!! It was at this point that I tried to remember my reasons for NOT buying a new build…..! I propose we get this shower as a replacement:

Work is still a countdown for the Festive holidays and I arrived in a pretty bad mood (puppy piss being the reason) and the fact that I hadn’t been able to get the shampoo out of my hair which resulted in flat hair and no one wants that on a Wednesday! Luckily the BOSS had purchased a massive box of chocolate goodies and due to the flat hair and missing you my emotions insisted I eat some and I was not ashamed that it was 09:58 let them judge me!!

 

Lesson in life: WHEN YOUR PARENTS RETIRE THEY GET INTO TROUBLE OR DECIDE TO GO ON RANDOM “ADVENTURES”

Yesterday Pops decided to go an adventure on the bus…he did lots of Christmas shopping and then got the bus home….. or not… he got the wrong one leading to him getting stranded as there were no more buses! Q phone call to me…. “I HATE LIVING IN THE COUNTRY….NO MORE BUSES AND IT’S NOT EVEN 16:00!” Alright pops calm down well if the bus was wrong he should really take you to your village …..! “Well no he wasn’t technically …I got on the wrong bus sooo ummmmmmm but still it’s a stupid system” (As a parent you are allowed to use the phase blame the system lots)

As I was over an hour away he ended up walking back to mine which was miles away, I called a friend who was finishing work near him soon. I asked if she saw a balding grumpy yet adorable man with lots of boots and Thortons bags (you know that’s where he went for his Xmas shopping) walking on the side of the road shouting “I hate the bus system” please could she kindly collect him and take him home!

Proper desk envy at work…people are going all fancy now with desk decorations with my desk neighbour even having USB plug in computer lights! I feel like such a let-down with my cast off piece of tinsel stuck to the top of mine!

Keep looking at our Christmas tree and smiling because I can not wait for our festive fun next year! But before that we have Isle of White Festival to look forward to… my wellies, facewipes, sunglasses and sleeping bag are raring to go!!!

Today I have mostly missed you.. all of you…just you.

Until tomorrow... I miss you xx

Until February…Day thirty eight and thirty nine: Becoming a woman, nuts and feeling festive

I would like to blame my lovely friend for me not being able to blog yesterday…! She made me have the most amazing fun day and before I knew it I was way past my bed time! It shows that we are getting old when we panicked having realised it was past 22:30!!!

Yesterday consisted of me waking up massively excited because today was the day….. the day I become a women…the day I cook a roast!!! (Definition of I actually being Katy being head chef and I was more the sous…) First things first… Tescos ….to learn about ingredients because to top off the challenge we had also decided to make a cake! Shopping trip included this:

Scratch and sniff eggs!!! Katy was unsure what this meant and decided that clearly you were meant to scratch the eggs and proceeded to do just that... Q strange looks! Turns out you just scratch and sniff the box…. Bit weird either way.

 

This is a hint... I would like one of these (not Katy the chocolate)

If you were a walnut where would you be in the supermarket… ?We searched the nut isle high and low and nope they were nowhere to be found! Oh no they are in home baking….. THEIR NUTS THEY SHOULD BE IN THE NUT ISLE!!! Katy suggested we put something in the suggestion box about making things easier to find…. We couldn’t find the suggestion box.

We arrived back at Katy’s and checked out the successful trip…….daddddaaaaaa look at all the real food because we are real goddesses!

 

Katy then turned Sargent Major on my ass…..I was put to work and puppy dog eyes did not work on her like they do you! Here I am pealing actual vegetables – go me!

 

Whilst the food was cooking we started on the cake, I used kitchen scales for the first time in my life, discovered that I will always need Katy on speed dial, realised I’m good at cracking eggs and totally enjoyed icing sugar – that stuff is good! Then it was all stations go…. Jesus the last 10 minutes of a roast are horrific! I just kept hearing the generation game them tune music as I frantically tried to get everything out of the oven and on to the plate! And look at the result!!! Can I get an AMEN!

 

 

 



DOMESTIC GODDESS POINTS..... OF THE SCALE!!!!!!!! 10000 +

What followed was far too much food (again) and then Geordie shore (don’t judge me) and then a chic flic! Pretty much a perfect day except I couldn’t tell you all about it when I got home and into bed.

Today has been pretty dull, the week before Christmas when most of your colleagues have annual leave and the staffing levels drop to about 10% and everyone left at work is really quiet and just wants the week to end.

Arrived home to a massive parcel……..It was the most amazing Christmas tree, decorations and sparkles from you to make the house all festive!!This is the best present ever and I can’t thank you enough…. I have spent the evening randomly bursting into tears though because I would have given anything to have been hanging the decorations with you.

Today and yesterday I have mostly missed you being able to taste my scrummy roast, singing cheesy festive songs and having a cuddle.

Until February…Day Thirty Six & Thirty Seven: Secret Santa panic, the work lunch and a egg issue!

Sooooo Fit one apologies for another double up of days but it was the time of year again for the annual Festive Christmas work lunch. I woke up extremely excited for this on Friday… I had even planned a nice (ish) outfit to wear to replace my usual casual Friday attire.

I managed to get dressed, look reasonably ok, eat breakfast, de-ice my car and pick my friend up on time!!! Project: Goddess of timekeeping….26 points. Then she mentioned secret Santa……. CRAP, DUKCY DUCK, DEAR LORD BABY JESUS….. I had totally forgotten! Right diversion to Tesco (deduction on goddess of timekeeping: 26) Well Tesco’s was a complete let-down so in the end I purchased my secret Santa this… A giant calculator which is what every professional 30 something wants in their life!

 

We get to eat our festive lunch in Cambridge’s answer to Hogwarts…it’s pretty epic! On the way in I realise that there are at least 100 people that I don’t recognise….seriously where do these people hide at work! I have never seen you ever!

Hogwarts Cambs stylee....

 

What followed was some totally scrummytastic amazing food that I stuffed in my face so quickly that after it I was struggling to talk and stay awake… Why do I do that at Christmas lunches – I literally force food down. When asked “Zo, do you want my pigs in blanket?” What I planned to say was no thanks, what I said was “Hell yes I do – chuck those beauty's over here!”

 

I did have a few tears after lunch, feels weird celebrating Christmas without you. Silly things like we won’t be pulling crackers, wearing cheap paper hats, swapping items we don’t like onto each other’s plates, drinking mulled wine and wearing our festive jumpers. I felt bad for feeling happy at the Christmas lunch…. Is that stupid? I know you want me to be happy I just felt bad that I was.

Friday finished with me falling asleep on the sofa and waking up with a burn mark on my face from the laptop charger overheating slightly, went to bed grumpy and with an ice pack.

Today has been a day of lay ins – not quite as epic as last week but enough to reduce the size of my bags from USA to UK.

I then did the video the Military Smiles #smilecampbastion project. I was pretty nervous considering I had no idea what I was doing, no experience in anything technical and my computer might as well be from the 80’s! Anywhoooo I set up “camp” in the living room with the essentials:

• Duvet
• Coffee
• Bacon Sarnie
• Pink Panther biscuits
• Phone
• Phone charger
• An idiot abroad on the TV (pre-recorded so I can skip the adverts – winner!)

And this is what the end product is on our FB page as I have tried to upload it onto here four times and now I give up:www.facebook.com/militarysmiles

Nipped out (pointless saying really, I think you're either out or not – don’t really believe in popping or nipping anywhere) So I just went out to town for the weekly food shop, what could possibly go wrong! Picked up some eggs and went to do the turn over test to see if they were broken (check before you buy –standard procedure!) when an old lady bumped into my arse with her trolley knocking me into the shelf which consequently squished said eggs onto my chest! I would usually attempt to style it out in most situations but this was a losing battle from the start! A group of youths… yes youths laughed pretty much in my face, old lady said sorry and tried to wipe my chest then I’m pretty sure she smirked at me….!! I eventually took my coat off (I was embarrassed which leads to nervous sweats anyway) paid and quick stepped it outta there!

Project sophisticated and classy: Deduction of 30 points

I was a bit gutted tonight as I was unable to attend my Burlesque night (due to not ordering said outfit in time for delivery) sooo was sat at home feeling sorry for myself when the lovely Lou popped over with a massive bottle of baileys and chocolate! That woman knows my weaknesses! Evening of drinks and chocolate followed, just what the doctor would advise against but it just taste so good that I don’t give a hoot!

Just received a card through my door.....most definitely thought I was being burgled but no instead its my parents delivering their Christmas card to us at 00:00 because they clearly have more of a social life than me... BAD TIMES! Also to follow on from my parents being dirty stop outs....its always nice to receive a festive card based around nipple tassel's, leather and sex! My parents insist on moving up the scale of "embarrass our daughter" ever year!

Today I have mostly missed sitting with you on the sofa surfing the net for songs for our video, napping in the afternoon and planning a roast for tomorrow.

Until Tomorrow…just know I will be dreaming of you

Until February…Day Thirty four & thirty five: Double trouble, chilli and Forces News

A little mash up of Wednesday and Thursday….

Sooo Wednesday was another day of de-icing with the calculator and update; it’s now officially not working! You just can’t get the equipment these days. I arrived at work on time (followed by a victory shake above head in the car park) and set about a productive day!

Productive day didn’t work, everything went wrong: Hole in tights, flat hair, cracked lips, someone stole my ruler, meetings over ran, shitty phone call….. Listened to 80’s love songs all the way home which is traumatic enough, by the time I got in I was an emotional wreck! Slammed door, stomped to fridge for wine… NO WINE NO BLOOMING WINE!!!!

Then you called – the world is right again because I spoke to you.

Sooooo I got changed, took a dose of “man up” and headed out to my friends, we haven’t seen each other in ages and I was so excited!!!!! I arrived and realised we have officially grown up…. (SOB SOB) She has GATES!! actual gates that you have to open to get to the drive….For Christmas I may buy some lion ornaments for either side as I feel that will complete the look and then maybe every time I leave hers I will knock one over as I reverse the car and that can be our “thing”…all good double acts have a “thing”.  

 

What followed was a night of chilli con carne (mild spice), copious amounts of tea, potatoes, belly laughs, dog farts, wedding talk (hers – don’t panic) , cuddles, adult talk about pensions and working hours….. dear lord baby Jesus what is wrong with us!!! Cracking night though and I realised just how much I had missed this woman!

Today I woke up a shivering mess…. I had someone managed to get into my duvet, actually inside but was lying on top of the thick bit and just had the thin part coving me. I was frozen, couldn’t fully feel my legs and then became extremely claustrophobic – mild panic set in as my legs appeared to be suffering from cold induced tingly weird leg syndrome and wouldn’t react when I told them to! I flapped around like a deranged fish out of water and finally won the battle of the duvet cover…. In your face duvet! Project strong independent women: 18 points

 

Got to work and parked next to a flash fiesta, he had antlers and a rudolph nose! My Punto felt massively underdressed and I was tempted to leave a note on the windscreen saying “got ready in a rush… don’t judge me!” then I decided I will instead buy a car hat like this one because you dont look stupid at all - in fact it screams I'm an adult with a professional career.... hmmmmmm.......:

Successful day at work, I completed a project (calling it a project makes it sound better I thought??) that was massively overdue – It was in fact so overdue that when I had finished said “project” we all sat back and did some clapping and then some whooping and I even stood up to take a bow.

Spent the evening at British Forces news with Pappa Peace, what a bunch of super lovely amazing people! They gave us coffee and an array of biscuits including jammy dodgers! Best part of the day was seeing your interview; you looked amazing in fact I believe I was quoted as saying “svelte”! I did see a flash back of me on the screen and all I can say is the bags under my eyes were not an addition I would have chosen to accessorise my look

Today I have mostly missed you making me smile, falling asleep on the sofa together and getting excited for Christmas.

Until tomorrow… sweet dreams

Until February...Day Thirty three: TBC

Due to having an evening with possibly one of my oldest and defiantly bestest friends which included: tears, tea, coffee, chilli con carne, giggles, dog farts and full on tummy aching laughter I will be updating tomorrow.

Xxx